The intensive care recovery ward is all a bit of a blur, I was still heavily sedated, and at that point wasn’t in any pain. That epidural was certainly doing its job!! I had an oxygen nasal tube and the canula still in my hand. For a while I was drifting in and out of awareness of where I was and what was happening, but the kind nurse I had as my 1-2-1 kept reassuring me that I was ok and I was in the hospital. 

It turns out  that I was there for about an hour and a half, having various checks done, and had to do thins like wiggle my toes and move my head up and then to my chest. My surgeon then came through, and told me the operation was a success, and they had got the mass out whole and without incident, the terminology they use is “with clean margins” as I said previously the ACC tumours are “crumbly” and so its important that it comes out clean and without any spillage. I thanked him, he then told me I did very well, I still to this day think this is a funny thing to say, I told him that he did all the hard work and I was very appreciative of everything. He then left the ward, I asked the nurse when I could see my mum and partner, and did they know I was out of surgery? She said they had been told, and that I would get to see them soon. I don’t remember everything that happened on the recovery ward, but I know that was my main concern. 

Shortly after this, to be honest time is all a bit blurry, so I couldn’t say how long, I was being taken in my bed up to the ward where I would be spending  the next week or so, my mum and partner were there waiting for me.

It would be hard to break down each day I was in hospital to write a chronological and detailed diary style account of my time in hospital, but honestly it would be almost impossible. I spent nearly 2 weeks in hospital and I was on a lot of pain killers, so everything kind of merges into one event, I remember things happening but couldn’t say in what order they happened or anything. But here are some of the main highlights that stick in my mind

I had a really lovely nurse, who taught me how to cough. After surgery like that, you often have to cough up lots of gunk, because of the tubes that go in your throat to help you breathe while under anaesthetic , easy right? Well, not when your surgery was abdominal, I tell you what, having an 18cm cut on your abdomen makes everything hard. Anyway, the nurse rolled up a towel really tight and taped it up into a sausage shape that I had to hold and press on my scar when I needed to cough, she also helped me to use breathing  techniques’ for when I needed to move or sit up, for the first 10 days or so this was very painful every time, so I used them, and when pain was bad even when I was home I used her breathing and pressure methods to help me.  All the staff on the ward were so kind and made mee even more grateful for the NHS because the ward was so busy and there was constantly something going on, yet all the nurses and HCAs went about their jobs without complaint and with kindness and compassion.

For the first few days I was on a intravenous  pump of pain killers but they were not really working well enough so they put me on a stronger pain killer, again using the IV pump, during my time in hospital I got to know the pain management team very well, as they supported me in adjusting my dose of pain killer and ensuring it was working. One switch they did, I don’t remember much other than laughing hysterically! They didn’t keep me on that dose, but it must have worked because even several weeks on from surgery laughing hurt, so the fact I could laugh like that… well… ha ha ha!!

It took a while to figure out a type and dose of pain killer I could take home with me, they wouldn’t discharge me without, something I could go home with. 

I remember the first trip I took outside the ward, my sister had been coming to help out too, and her and my mum borrowed one of the ward wheelchairs, and with my pain management pump on my knee I was taken down to the hospital costa, and out into the hospital garden where we met with my partner. It was such a lovely half an hour, that short time with my family and fresh air was actually quite emotional. But it didn’t half tire me out! I think I slept for the rest of that day and night. I did two more little trips down to the hospital gardens and each one was so lovely. I appreciated the fresh air, the quiet. Even though it was cold out, I liked it, the fact I could feel the cold to me was positive, but I will get on to that soon.

It wasn’t until day 2 or 3 post surgery that I could get up and walk because of the epidural, this was hard work and uncomfortable, but each time I managed a little further, I remember the sense of achievement  I felt the first time I did a loop of the ward, very slowly and holding the pressure towel, whilst doing my breathing. But I did it. Again, this short activity tired me out. Pre surgery everyone kept saying this was “major” and “big” that it was a long and slow recovery but I had truly underestimated exactly how hard and long it would be. If I could go back, or if I could warn anyone going in for major surgery I would say be kind to yourself, slow down and don’t set your expectations  high, because you will be disappointed.

Most days all I could manage was changing from one set of pyjamas to another, I did this while the nurses changed my sheets and walk to and from the toilet when I needed it. The rest of the time I either slept or just lay resting listening to podcasts, but that was more to drown out the hectic ward noises more than anything. I was not really able to concentrate  on anything properly.  Hospital wards are, not a restful place.

This blog post is already really long, so I will stop for now because I don’t want to bore anyone, and I am tired, so you will have to wait for next week for a little more insight into my hospital stay and eventual discharge.