I have lots of hobbies.

I play ten pin bowling, I play a blind sport called showdown, I like crafting, climbing and researching my special interests and I love writing this blog 

But when I’m depressed I lose sight of all my hobbies.

This weekend I saw my family, my mum, dad and sister. They held a little ‘intervention’ because I’ve lost sight of the things I love and want to engage in. It is hard though. My world has shrunk a little. I’ve worked so hard in therapy to get out of the house and overcome my fear of having an adrenal crisis. I’m working on processing everything that happened to me, not just in the past few years but since I was 15. But the emotional toll of therapy is heavy and I heed something else.

So starting today I’m making sure I go out and do something every day, push myself to go out even though it scares me.

I’ve got to go bowling again, it’s fun and social and I do enjoy it even though it scares me to go out.

I need to do my craft and listen to podcasts. Because that makes me happy.

I’m so scared of going out and I have I’ve challenged things I need to keep on challenging things. I can’t expect to do it once and be ok.

Cancer has stripped me of all my confidence.